tfln overflow / open post

[superniceone]

(open / overflow)

Comments

[recreatable]

And he chopped off a hand to talk to Gustave, and he again only spoke to him now because the journal was a good excuse. It's almost like he's not good with authenticity, or something.

"This may shock you," he says, dry, "but I don't have the best experiences with getting... attached."

Every human he's ever cared about, save for his family, is dead. Some of them by his hands, all of them his fault in a greater, more philosophical sense. He really should have learned not to engage by now, keep his emotional distance. It's just— difficult, when life is so unbearable and so lonely.

[superniceone]

Gustave's brow furrows. He leans forward to take the book back, closing it and pressing the spine of it against his own mouth while he takes a few long moments to recalibrate two days' worth of mental calculations.

His expression is a little softer when he does finally lower it. "No. Of course you wouldn't. It's actually quite unfair to put you in this situation at all."

[recreatable]

"Oh, it's very unfair."

Verso is just being mean, glib in an attempt not to linger too long on unpleasantness. It's him who keeps putting himself in this situation. He never learns.

"You're incredibly unfair. I should have known that innocent look was only an act."

[superniceone]

"Innocent?" Gustave protests, and it's probably idiotic that's the thing he takes the most offense at. "I propositioned you first. I assumed it was - safe."

He makes an aggrieved sound, indicating for Verso to move to sit next to him.

[recreatable]

Verso shouldn't sit. But, again, he's fucking stupid, so he does.

"I question if what we did falls under the definition of 'safe'." Another jest, purposefully obtuse to Gustave's real meaning — but also, that was not safe sex in the least. It was with a strange old man in the woods. "Clearly, the academy curriculum is lacking in... life sciences."

[superniceone]

On a stupid, animal level, it's nice to have Verso sitting next to him like that. He shoots him a sidelong glance, face wrinkled like he's asking is this really the way you're choosing to misdirect?

"Suppose it was extremely irresponsible of me," he deadpans. "You'll have to let me know right away if you start showing any signs of morning sickness."

[recreatable]

It's absolutely the way he's choosing to misdirect. Relationships are doomed and fleeting, but being annoying is forever. He does shove Gustave a little, because being irreverent is supposed to be his thing. Gustave is supposed to be the painfully earnest one.

So, a reversing of roles, a little bit: "Is that why you propositioned"—a ridiculous description that makes it sound a lot more slick than Gustave essentially arguing that it would be a service to the world if he got a handjob—"me, that night?"

He wouldn't be offended, if that were the case. It's very practical. He's the only one who wouldn't have potential complications should they survive. In fact, he's the only one who'd have no real repercussions at all; surely Gustave didn't expect to even see him again, once this was all over.

[superniceone]

Gustave snorts aloud at the shove, but he responds by just briefly leaning his arm in against Verso's. It's not a lingering touch, not overt, but there's sincerity in it.

"What, because you were safe?" He shakes his head no, falling silent with an expression that indicates he's clearly considering his words. "No. I think I just - wanted to. I've shaped my whole life around building a better world for future generations, and - I wouldn't change it if I could. But the idea that maybe I could just - have something just for myself? I got greedy."

[recreatable]

Verso hums, thoughtful. It's strange how close that is to his own reasoning. Of course, without all the existentialism.

"It's normal," he says, "to want to have something that you don't have to share."

Less normal that the person he's tired of sharing things with is dead, but that's a specification that doesn't need to be made right now.

[superniceone]

"I suppose." Gustave lapses into silence, before he reluctantly admits: "Likely why I blew a gasket when you went off with Sciel. I thought I'd have a chance to change your mind."

[recreatable]

"Blew a gasket," he repeats, and he can't help but laugh. He's not sure he's ever seen Gustave blow a gasket, even in the heat of battle. "Yeah, I think I speak for us all when I say I was frightened for my life." A little pinch to Gustave's arm. What a dork.

There's a pause, then. If he were a good person, he'd shut this down instantly. Tell Gustave that he doesn't know who Verso is (because he doesn't) and that he shouldn't waste what remains of his life thinking about him at all (because he shouldn't). As previously established, he is very much not a good person. It's important to still keep his distance, but—

"If you still want to change my mind after the Paintress, I'd be open to hearing your argument." A cruel thing to say, when he knows there will be no 'after the Paintress', not for long enough to matter.

[superniceone]

Look, Gustave had experienced a flood of feelings that he wasn't exactly proud of. It felt an awful lot like blowing a gasket, but he'll accept the teasing with a little tilt of the head. "Alright. As long as you think you can keep yourself from seducing any more of my friends."

He's not looking at him, but he's smiling a little bit, just out at the what he can see of the nearby coast.

"Probably good you're sitting on my left. I'd probably be trying to hold your hand again if you were on my other side."

[recreatable]

God, please. It wasn't seduction. It was practically a business transaction. But Gustave probably doesn't want to hear about how Verso was fully about to fuck his friend in a businesslike manner, so he keeps his mouth shut about that.

Verso stares out at the coast, too, sighing in a way that's not entirely untroubled before saying, "You know, I'm flattered. I've never blown anyone's gasket before."

[superniceone]

Gustave tenses noticeably at that, before it becomes evident it's more that he's trying to hold in laughter than because he's upset about something. "Really? I never would have known. Well- you earned an A+ from me, sincerely."

This is idiotic, they're both idiots, and he's just going to let himself enjoy that for a few minutes.

[recreatable]

Gustave should be scolding him for being over a hundred and still making jokes of that caliber, but clearly, the idiocy is contagious. Verso grins. "Oh, thanks. Means a lot. You aren't so bad yourself."

Then, he reaches over to the journal, tapping the cover. "As your editor, I should probably tell you to rip out that last page."

[superniceone]

"I'm waiting to make sure there aren't any more pointless understandings to quash. Literally impossible to know with the two of us." But he's opening it up to do just that now, folding it flat and tucking it into his pocket to use as kindling later.

And, immediately after, he'll frown softly and investigate his wrist. "My aim was off today. Not sure if it was my head or something else."

[recreatable]

Mm. Less fun topic. Verso's gaze follows Gustave's, although he's not quite sure what he's supposed to be looking for. After a moment, he looks back up at Gustave, frowning. "Are you nervous about the next Axon?"

[superniceone]

"Feeling a little better than I did about the last one, actually," he admits, flexing his fingers. "It's becoming more and more obvious there's no reason for me to try to anticipate what might actually happen next."

[recreatable]

"It would be hard to feel worse about it than you did the last one."

Lightly teasing, although the night before the first Axon hadn't been particularly fun for anyone involved. Verso's still not sure if he really believes they're capable of getting to the Monolith, or if he's going to be dragging Gustave, Lune, and Sciel's lifeless corpses to the Forgotten Battlefield to be buried.

"You were very dark and brooding."

[superniceone]

"Suppose I was encroaching on your territory a bit. Hope you didn't mind too much." He's teasing, too, but it's not possible to miss that faraway look Verso sometimes gets. And who could blame him for it, really. "How are you feeling about it?"

[recreatable]

Oh, he feels a bone-deep sense of dread, but saying that wouldn't be helpful.

"We've exceeded my expectations already," he says with a shrug. "Who knows what we'll accomplish next?" It's not exactly a ringing endorsement, but at least he isn't telling Gustave that he thinks it's probably a 50-50 chance whether he survives the next 24 hours.

[superniceone]

"Damning with faint praise," Gustave says mildly. They're nowhere near the actual water, but his hand grazes a rock in the grass, he'll pick it up and hurl it toward the coast as an almost afterthought anyway. "I should do some maintenance on my arm. But I'd really like to find a moment to kiss you before we go to sleep. If you don't mind." Bluntly, matter of fact.

[recreatable]

Clearly, Gustave does not understand the principle of trying not to get attached. It would be a terrible idea to let Gustave kiss him, because then Verso will start thinking about the way Gustave's beard tickles his face, and that his eyebrows are charmingly bushy, and that he really does quite enjoy his company— and then he'll start to feel awful after that, and he'll toss and turn all night as he tries to convince himself he's doing the right thing.

On the other hand, Verso's lizard hindbrain does really want to. It's just once. He isn't thirteen; he won't get emotionally compromised from kissing someone once.

"I could pencil you in," he says like the stupid idiot he is.

[superniceone]

See, this is why communicating in weird euphemism is tricky: Gustave figures they've gotten the weird and uncomfortable part where they admit to it being a little more than they'd mutually intended. They've done much worse; what harm could a kiss do?

He's never been impulsive like this, but after feeling the cold grip of death on his throat more than once already on this journey, it feels pointless to deny himself.

"Yeah?" Gustave confirms, shooting him a crooked smile that maybe gives away that he was much less confident about Verso's answer than he'd been pretending to be. "Gracious of you. I'd appreciate that."

[recreatable]

Verso suddenly becomes very aware of the fact that if he'd received even the slightest bit of pushback about ending things, he probably would have backpedaled. Definitely an issue. He feels a little fuzzy-headed, and like he very much needs to remind himself of his priorities. So:

"I'm going to go check on Maelle, then," he says as he stands. Priority number one. Easy. Abruptly, he wonders if she picked up on anything between them. He hopes not. That's an awkward dynamic he's counting on never having to navigate. "Wouldn't want her to think I didn't like her story."