tfln overflow / open post

[superniceone]

(open / overflow)

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[recreatable]

Verso's certainly not upset about the prospect of Gustave hanging around, although eventually Maelle's going to be the one who needs bribing when she inevitably gets annoyed about Verso keeping her favorite person from her. Ugh, Maelle. It finally feels as if he might not combust on the spot if he speaks to her, although he still hardly knows what to say. He should tell her he's leaving, probably. God knows how she'll take that.

But that's still in the future—and will remain so until he can't avoid it—so he pushes the thoughts out of his mind to be ruminated on later, when he's alone. "You could give him a gun," Verso jokes offhandedly, before quickly adding, "—Don't give him a gun."

A gestral with a gun is the last thing Lumière needs.

"You look a little shaken," he points out then, the observation light and casual. "Was the cuddling that bad?"

[superniceone]

"Well, I'm not using mine anymore. How's his aim?" It's just a little toothless stalling; it feels juvenile, almost, to admit that he's troubled by bad dreams. He imagines that it's probably rarer to find anyone involved in an Expedition in any capacity who isn't.

And complaining about it to Verso, specifically, seems cruel.

"Just a nightmare. Not even an interesting one." Just one that had thrown him back to the Continent with the nonsensical sleep-logic, where he'd looked around and realized that everyone was gone again, that they'd never been back in the first place. Gustave's expression creases slightly in thought, and he really does seem just more tired of it than distressed. "You sleep alright?"

[recreatable]

"Like a baby," he says, offhanded, because he's not the one they're talking about here. Verso rarely dreams at all anymore; the endless nothingness is a bit depressing, but at least he doesn't wake up in a cold sweat. "You want to talk about it?"

[superniceone]

Gustave squints at Verso for a moment, trying his best to see if he can recall a moment when Verso let himself ask for help for himself.

"It was— stupid, honestly, in the way dreams always are." It's not a refusal, just a little warning. "We were mid-Expedition, and I'd, uh— made it all up. Everything after the Paintress, I mean. Everyone was gone, and I had to grieve them all over again. Tedious more than horrifying."

[recreatable]

Mmm. Verso carefully doesn't mention that Gustave's nightmare—that all of this is just made up, that this isn't the sort of world where you can just repaint someone who's gone—is his dream come true.

"That sounds hard," he says, sincere in the fact that he knows it must have been painful to experience loss like that both in reality and the dream, and rubs Gustave's shoulder. "There's nothing stupid about grief." A thoughtful hum. "I'll have to hold you tighter next time."

[superniceone]

Gustave doesn't mind the notion of death in itself; he had very much accepted the impermanence of life when he was young, as much as it had drawn him towards his interest in history. Having it happen so abruptly, though — and everyone all at once, for a second time — had just been a punch in the gut.

But it would be hard to hold onto those fading feelings if he wanted to right now, and he doesn't particularly want to. He's closing his eyes instead, smiling sedately at that little remark. "I should probably start a list today," he murmurs. "Imagine packing for a field study is going to be quite different than doing it for an Expedition."

[recreatable]

"Field study?" Verso asks, expression blank, without recognition. He runs through his memories, looking for a clue, then— "You're talking about the Nevron thing?"

Gustave had said he'd help, but he'd thought that meant helping on an intellectual level, not actually getting his boots on the ground. Maybe Verso should have asked, but Gustave had been in such a surprisingly good mood that he'd gotten... distracted. With other, equally important things.

[superniceone]

It's going to be difficult bringing this up with Maelle — she's been giving breathing room to adjust to this new reality, but he can sense her growing frustration.

"Mmhmm," Gustave says, eyes closed. "Can't actually bring the entire workshop, much as I might like to. Too much delicate equipment."

[recreatable]

Probably better that Gustave has his eyes closed, because Verso goes on a bit of a face journey. "Oh," he says, eyebrows raised before he tries to school himself back into a more neutral expression. Feeling a little stupid, he continues, "I thought you'd want to stay here. In Lumière."

That's what all of this agonizing has been about. Wishing things could be different, but knowing that Gustave's loyalty is and always has been with Lumière.

[superniceone]

Gustave does blink his eyes back open at that, his own expression slightly puzzled. He realises then that maybe this is the sort of conversation that merits sitting up a little bit, and shifts back to push himself up onto his elbow.

"The Expeditions are over. Lumière needs Emma now, not me." And it won't need either of them if it's burnt to ashes by the Dessendre family. He hesitates, then adds: "Not sure how I'm meant to help you out from here, anyway."

[recreatable]

"Figured you'd just use that big brain of yours to tell me what to do," Verso admits, a little sheepish, because maybe it was a silly thought. He just hadn't expected that Gustave would ever want to be anywhere but here, the place he's spent his whole life trying to protect. Casually: "How long are you planning for this field study to take?"

[superniceone]

Gustave wrinkles his nose at that, because research-by-proxy like that sounds - well. Either 'less than ideal' or just 'straight up miserable,' depending on how candid he feels like being. "Not really something I'll have an idea of until the work starts."

He's being extremely careful not to use words like we here; he's made the assumption that Verso is looking forward to a life of quiet privacy again, doesn't want to spook him into fleeing early.

[recreatable]

Verso picks up on that, actually! It's a little confusing, the way Gustave only refers to himself when he's certainly not the only person who's going to be on the Continent. He would have thought that, if Gustave were planning on leaving Lumière, this whole thing they're doing might unwisely continue. Would have hoped that, if he's being completely honest. Judging by the way he's talking, though, one has to wonder if Gustave has other ideas.

"Oh," he says again, stalling for time until he can think of what to say. "You should, uh, wear one of those little explorer outfits."

Like this.

[superniceone]

"Only if you do the same." Gustave hesitates slightly then, because— well, he might be dense, but not so much that he's missed the slightly awkward shift in tone. "Sorry, I'd thought we were on the same page about all of this."

[recreatable]

"No," he says quickly, loath for Gustave to think he's somehow overstepped or done something wrong here. Maybe it's been obvious this whole time that Gustave planned on making an excursion to the Continent, and Verso was just blind, or perhaps distracted by the impending orgasm. "You're fine."

A moment of consideration, and then he flops onto his back, sigh-laughing in embarrassment. "It's just that I've spent the last two weeks agonizing over wanting you to come to the Continent, and then you just— decided to come on your own."

[superniceone]

God, they suck at communication. Gustave relaxes when he hears the laughter in Verso's voice anyway, embarrassed in his own right as he is. "Agonizing over it? I told you I was thinking about it before we even left the Continent." Of course, that was just when he'd been trying to run away, not when he had an actual goal to work toward.

He watches him for a moment, then pushes up from the way he's leaning on his arm to sit up properly, shifting back to rest against the headboard. "Honestly, I thought you might just need some space after, uh—" Weeks of Gustave glued to his side. "Lumière."

[recreatable]

That had been Gustave's idle fantasy of not having to face reality, not an authentic desire to be there on the Continent. It wouldn't have mattered where he was, as long as he wasn't in Lumière. He'd been sure that once Gustave spent a little time back in Lumière, his opinion would change; then again, he'd also been relatively confident that he'd get dumped the moment Gustave got to see his ex-girlfriend again, too, and that hasn't yet happened.

"I've had 67 years of space," he points out, turning his head to peer up at Gustave from his pillow. It's been an incredibly lonely several decades, and although he'd resigned himself to several more incredibly lonely decades henceforth, it isn't as if he'd been excited about it. It had just felt like the sort of self-harm he deserved to engage in. "...And this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm sort of fond of you."

[superniceone]

Gustave glances down at him, reaching over on impulse to take and squeeze his hand. "I'm sort of fond of you, too," he echoes, softly wry, and thinks it's sort of a marvel that they'd made it this far. He grins a little then, posture more relaxed as he continues: "You'll make much better company than the gestrals, I imagine. Maybe on par with the grandis."

[recreatable]

"Ooh, high praise," he snarks, not admitting that he actually prefers the gestrals; that opinion might be the thing that finally turns Gustave off for good. A brief pause, and then— "I guess I'm going to have to patch up the holes in the roof." You know, of his hut. It's one thing to be rained on himself, but it's another for it to happen to Gustave.

[superniceone]

It's more of a relief than he'd realized it would be when it becomes clear that Verso doesn't resent the idea of Gustave accompanying him for a while. Research is, genuinely, the primary reason — and it's a comfort, knowing they both prioritize Maelle above all else — but drawing out their dwindling time together is a nice idea, too. Makes it a little more palatable.

"That means you're going to let me crash with you sometimes, then?" He reaches over, just to gently nudge his shoulder. "I'm flattered."

[recreatable]

Obviously. He's sick of being alone. After a while, it's less 'noble solitude' and more 'pathetic and sad'. And, as he'd said, he's fond of Gustave; despite everything—the complicated circumstances of their meeting, the way he's positive that he has a net negative impact on Gustave's life, the vague resentment and jealousy Verso can't quite shake—he prefers being with Gustave to being without him.

He's still learning how to navigate this whole relationship thing again, though, and he'd hate to sound weird and clingy by being too earnest. So, he says, "I figured it would be the most efficient set-up, if I'm going to be dragging Nev corpses back for you to study."

[superniceone]

"Don't do that. Don't give them a cutesy nickname. Nevs." Gustave makes a face, like that's the most unattractive thing he's ever encountered about Verso, and he glances up at the door, idly wondering if Monoco is on the other side waiting for Verso to wake.

Sciel will get it, he thinks. Lune will, when he explains the academic bent to it. He's going to be absolutely fucked when it comes to explaining this to his sisters, but he's decided already not to back down — he's going to find a way to help if it kills him.

He blinks. "—and hey, I don't need you to kill nevrons for me."

[recreatable]

"All right, killer," he laughs. Although he's certainly more of a scientist than a soldier, Verso has never questioned Gustave's competence in killing Nevrons; sure, he thinks Gustave is less competent at it than he is, but he thinks that of everyone. "I just thought you might be busy doing research, and I figured I should make myself useful before I get kicked off the study."

[superniceone]

"Sure," Gustave says, idly picking at a strand of Verso's hair. He knows he's not exactly anyone's ideal of a warrior, but he's never felt particularly incompetent. "Don't think you've got much to worry about, anyway. Eye candy is important for morale."

[recreatable]

"Right," he drawls, leaning toward Gustave's fingers the way a flower turns toward the sun. "I'll just laze around attractively while you do all the real work." A pause, before his mood dulls slightly. It's visible on his face, expression turning dour. "Maelle won't be happy with you leaving."

She won't be happy with Verso leaving, either, but he has half a mind—maybe more than that—never to tell her, to pretend he plans to stay until the very last moment. It would lessen the amount of time she'd spend dreading his departure, he tells himself, and has nothing to do with the fact that he dreads having that conversation. Gustave doesn't have it in him to deceive like that, though; he'll tell her instantly, and she'll panic, and it'll all go to hell.